HOW NOT TO OUT A CLOSETED GAY FRIEND

Well, well, well, hello again my dear lonely but beautiful expectators of mine… I don’t need to apologize to you this time for leaving you almost a week… I have my reasons and I don’t want to tell you…

Anyway the past days as I gathered and collected experiences to be chronicled in this very popular blog of mine, I come to a very interesting observation to people and friends alike surrounding my beautiful, well landscaped and manicured life of mine. I’ve noticed this during parties and dinners that I’ve attended last week.

I am guilty as judged by the jury when I see myself to someone who in some way Is very much like me. I used to despise homophobes and I hate them, these must be because I used to fight for Gay rights in my own little way like doing campaign materials for Task Force Pride in the Philippines. I used to say blatant words against homophobes which I believe is a defense mechanism of what they are, I used to looked at things one side and never bothered to look what’s the other side of this poor little creatures. I never bothered to know how insecure and afraid they are of themselves to the point of putting these frustrations to other very secured and out homosexuals. And I’m so guilty of being so judgemental about it, But now I think I grow up a little bit in terms of my outlook to life. I’ve learned to understand a lot of things about this people, from where they come from, how they grow up, they’re beliefs, cultures and traditions which affect they’re outlook in life and as an individual itself. Sigh … in fact I hope I can help them…

What I noticed contrary to general beliefs that heterosexuals specially men don’t like a lot of gay men, but honestly with my experience with hete men--- I never had bad experience with them in fact they love you more if your honest and just be yourself, All of my friends during college are straight and goodlooking, except the two of them are out now. The more secure a man about his sexuality the more he is accepting to others, I have a very good straight friend, He used to live with me in my beautiful villa and we found a very wonderful friendship out of pure, fair, platonic, love and respect to each other. Until now he is one of the many beautiful straight friends I had.

Anyway what I noticed is that when homosexuals socialize with their homosexual, bisexual, transgendered friends, and most of all the closeted queens and princesses. One can feel the tension and one feels as if there are certain and precise rules to follow. Rules to dominate, rules to put things in the open, rules to show –off, rules to be in and involve, a lot of rules to the point that it becomes an arena of divas aiming for the ultimate goal of being the supreme or high priestesses of Divasism. Hay… ang mga Vaklah… talaga… vinavaklah ang lahat.

Its very lonely to see a very Out gay, making a closeted queen to come out from that musky little closet. It’s annoying, and embarrassing to see a very dominant faggot trying to taunt closeted princesses in they’re own little world. Its heart-wrenching to see these little princesses, wriggle, squiggle and cringe from the claws of the older Out faggots trying to put them out in the open. It’s like looking at helpless birds in a cage.

And am so guilty because I used to be one; and I don’t see the point why I have to continue doing that. Life for me now is about sharing love, respect and sensitivity towards others, I don’t want to be self-rigtheous, but the world is changing, the market is melting down along with the ice sheets in the artic pole and antartica; Now maybe is the time to look at myself of what I am… would I melt with the ice or stand up and plant a tree… whichever, life is getting shorter now.

Anyway, While there are a few social faux pas to avoid out of common courtesy, specially with our little world… homosexuals… really it's not so difficult to have a great time for all without stepping on any toes.

And with these our topic for today is…

How not to out a closeted gay friend


Erase… erase from your vocabulary the phrase “that’s so gay”. Whatever we approve or disapprove we always use that phrase, unknowingly insulting our shy and closeted friends. It makes them more afraid and uneasy specially when in a big group or in a dinner with friends.


Introduce… Introduce your gay friends by they’re name, not by label. Your gay friends are not some bunch of elements from the periodical table to be labeled. And again it makes our closeted babies afraid that they might be judge. Unlike me I liked to be judged in a beauty contest. Say “hoy friend ko si ramon,bading sya” or si john yung friend ko na tagong bading… say that many times and looked at yourself… you don’t deserve to be a social climber.


Avoid… in a dinner conversation or whatever function you’re into or with friends, Try not to tackle issues about sexuality not unless its relevant and you’re comfortable with your intimate friends. Just because we are gay, we should tackle everything in gay, nevertheless we already are gays and there’s no need to shout it out!!! Bakla ka na respetuhin mo naman self mo… hmmmp….


Know… “In knowing, comes wisdom”… Get to know your closeted friends beyond their fear and sexuality. Learn about their interests; share common hobbies and interests. Who knows maybe gradually he or she will open-up to you… like he might be asking you how to wash a bra… hehehehe…


Respect… that’s the most humblest and over-used word that we don’t practice. Just let them be, it’s they’re life and they have the right the way they want to live it. It’s our differences that makes us unique creatures; It’s our differences that make us human. But me I’m a claypot… tse!!! Double tse!!!


Treat… Treat your closeted gay friends exactly the same as you'd treat your other friends; and exactly you want to be treated by your friends. Remember carmi martin ( karma ) is just around the corner.


There you are my dear lonely but beautiful expectators of mine…

till then and be fabulous, gay and …. Whatever….

never ever correct my grammar and spelling
Mwahh…