HOW TO FEEL LIKE A SALTED DRIED FISH

Well… well… well… there you are my bayotiful, glowing and gregarious pupils of mine... Today the weather is fine according to the water level of my mammary glands… Its kin’da heavy you know. I don’t feel like someone today so I made tuna salad sandwich for my breakfast and a pan-boiled coffee as you know that “Marla” my coffeemaker is broken. I don’t have the time to replace her as she is of great sentimental value to me. She’d witness a lot of mornings and mourning’s with me.

Anyways finally Shun moved in to my place last Saturday, He seems fine to me I hope it would remain the same until his sixth month on my apartment. He only had a big luggage and a big hotdog pillow. Thanks God Mr. Trey fixed that broken pipe already. And I love the fact that he seldom cooks as he said, but he promised me to teach me how to cook a perfect Miso soup.

The weekend that just passed is quite busy for me. Last Saturday the whole of the Filipino Mafia went to an excursion, yeah excursion that event we always look forward to when we are in our Elementary days. It was fun and a lovely Saturday. It’s like summer you know, as you can see the climate here in Indochina is quite erratic like my behavior. It rains a lot but at the same time it’s so hot… We should texted God to stop the climate change, we spoiled earthlings… sigh…sigh…sigh…

Me, Miss Earth, Miss Grace, Mr. Magno, Miss Deborah, Miss Arwen and Miss Frida went to Villa Lanca’, It’s that beautiful villa near the Wat Lanca’ and actually a stone throw from Miss Grace new apartment. Villa Lanca’ is beautiful. The structure is a fusion of French colonial villa with modern touches of Khmer architecture, which by the way is also fabulous specially the tiled roofs. The pool is saltwater as they say but I jokingly tease them that it’s just the sweat from all the swimmers that is why the water in the pool is salty. The pool is surrounded with big trees which reminded me of trees hanging over a river where you can climb and jump on the water. Villa Lanca’ is a boutique hotel with spa and restaurant on the side.

Anyways the food is great specially the dessert – “Hot chocolate fudge cake with vanilla ice cream” on the side, God it’s the second thing to die for to think that it looks like a “whammos”; I was slurping the last sticky nectar of the white ice-cream when two not three beautiful guys came in with bulging ligaments. All of us quickly transferred to another table closer to the pool and in front of the men with ligamental thing but they seems not to noticed us. Then Miss Deborah put on her black swimming trunks and Miss Frida with her boxer type black and red trunks, and me with my grandmother’s boxers. The water is cool and yeah salty but not too salty. Then we swam to the deeper area of the pool and perked on the edge as we sang a chorus from “The Sound of Music”. It feels like we are the other sisters of Uriel… but still the ligamental guys never ever give a budge on us, so a couple more dive and frolicking in the cool water the three divas went away.

Our next stop is the “Spa Bliss”. Miss Frida already had a reservation for us, but this time it’s only me, Miss Deborah, Miss Earth and Miss Frida. Spa Bliss as always is nice. I like the simple Moorish design of the structure though a little bit small but still it looks and feels nice. They had a shop outside for clothes made from good cotton. In the back is the steam room which overlooks to a small dipping pool and in the second floor were the treatment rooms.

Growing up not rich… Spa’s for me is a luxury in fact this is my fourth time to be on a spa… aside the fact that I frequent some cheap foot massage hahahaha. Anyway so we were ushered to the dipping pool and were served with “pandan tea” its refreshing. And then were given the menu to choose what treatment we like. I chose “Body Salt Glow” under the Body scrubs or exfoliations menu. Miss Frida had the “Lulur Body Blits” and deep tissue massage, as for Miss Deborah she had the “Honey & Sesame scrub”. For Miss Earth I think she also had the deep tissue massage… We wait for a couple of minutes and that’s it we were ushered to our rooms.

I grew up in the province all I know about body beautification is the “Lugod” that hard stone we use to scrub our body when we were young and the use of “Perla” soap and Dalacin C or Chin San Chu. And this is the first time also that a woman’s hand is touching me gush… I cringe to the thought that a lady would touch my lonely skin. But I don’t have a choice since Spa Bliss has only one masseur the rest are masseuse, and Miss Frida already booked him. But anyway I thought that would be bad for me but in the end it was good but still if it’s a man’s hand it’ll be better. As it’s quite new to me this kind of stuff… Here I had to explain to all of you my beautiful pupils specially the noisy group at the back and who were never been to Spa’s the common steps you have to do in a spa.

How to feel like a Salted Dried Fish.

Follow… the ushers who would lead you to a waiting area or whatever place they have for waiting. They usually give you refreshments but since I’m in Indochina they serve us tea.

Choose… they will give you the treatment menu and choose whatever you like from body massage to body wraps to facial to body scrubs and manicures. Don’t ever think that it’s a food menu though it looks and sounds the same.

Change… now this is the part I like so much when you were ask to wear a robe. It feels like I’m a queen. But of course you have to be totally naked underneath. I used to put on my underwear but they will ask you to take it off anyway. Don’t be shy.

Shower… actually this part is optional, usually after the massage you are not allowed to take shower not unless it’s hot shower. But since I’ve chosen the body scrub I showered to loosen up the dead skin cells or whatever “Leevahg” I had in my body’s crevasses.

Let their fingers do the talking… this is the part where they ask you to lie down and they would start to knead you like a dough or they start to scrub your body like a toilet bowl. As for me as I’ve chosen the “Body Salt Glow” gush I didn’t realize that the mineral salt they use is quite bigger than I thought. It’s feels like sand paper on my skin despite the fact that the salts are mixed with oil. I can hear it literally’ the scratching sound on my skin… I want to say stop! Stop! Stop! It felt like she’s peeling my skin with a peeler. I almost cried in pain but stopped when I hear Miss Deborah snored like a man. So I just watch Miss Deborah and try to concentrate on other things. However in a couple of minutes or two my skin’s nerve endings loosens up and the scrubbing started to feel nice… then I myself falls asleep and woke up feeling like a Salted Dried Fish.

Shower again… but this is only for those who chose the Body scrubs and Body wraps. This is to remove the mixture and residues out from your lonely skin. Surprisingly when I took my shower with Miss Deborah’s manly snore in the background, my skin feels like I was reborn again. It felt like I just came out from my mother’s womb. Gush I will do these again…

Okay there you go my pupils and beautiful student. This is for you who started to climb the social ladder, Spa is one of the requirements in stepping up with your social friends, at least you know what to do… or if you cannot afford it because it 22dollars in minimum at least you have something to say to your social climbing friends too.

Okay that’s it Pray for our Auntie Farrah Faucet after you prayed for our great grandmother Michael… Mwahhh take care you little devels… I know your talking about my grammar... hmmmp...