HOW TO COOK BISTEK TAGALOG GALORE

Well… well… well… there you are my hungry, PG expectators and pupils of mine. Today I woke up thinking I’m a cook; well I do cook it’s my talent during beauty pageants, During the contest I do my cooking below the stage while the other contestant do their stuff… and when I’m done I’ve had my cooking distributed to the judges, sometimes they like it and sometime I won best in talent. Well anyways…

Oh my gush Mr. Magno stop speaking to me this morning because I didn’t answer his phone call last night, because I was fast asleep at 8:00 pm… which is not so very me. I was watching tombraider again while waiting for my dinner but instead I fall asleep in the process. I woke up at 3:00 am hungry, I’m dreaming of “Bistek tagalog”. I cannot sleep again so I wait for the long morning and found two miss calls in my cellphone from a number I don’t know so I just reply who are you? But it didn’t answer back so I cart-wheeled to the fridge and ate all the strawberry yogurt… I went back to my fabulous bed and slept again, I woke up late like 8:00am.
I went to my office and found these snobbish Mr. Magno not speaking to me. I opened my pc and check on my emails to find work in word form… so I closed my email and started to talked to that guy wearing a pink shirt and ask him why he’s so snobbish, he didn’t listen to me, I ask him a couple of times before I throw a big crumpled paper on his back. Then he finally replied to me wearily and asked why I didn’t answer his call, All he want to know is how to cook Bistek Tagalog? God I really had enough of breakdowns and dramas … gush… gush… gush... God I’m not that basic I swear…

I stared at him for like a million seconds and I started to feel something is changing inside of me, The colors of the morning seems darker, sparks of electricity swirls around my head, my pupils dilate and my fingers turn blue and I don’t know what that means but I know it’s not a good sign... but instead of exploding… I implode and go around the office mumbling and making “yawyaw” all over the place. Then I decided to have coffee… before I go back and work on a new storyboard for a phone company.


Fast forward to lunchtime, now I understand why he’s not talking to me, his lunch is “Bistek tagalog” but doesn’t taste like it… It taste like adobo… but in justiceness to him it taste good in fact I finished it all. Well because of that I will teach you how to cook “Bistek tagalog”(Filipino Beefsteak) you poor dummies of mine… Cooking Bistek tagalog is easy as memorizing all the prehistoric bones of a dinosaur. Okay get your pen and notebook and copy everything from the board.


How to cook Bistek Tagalog


¾ kilo of beef steaks

2 tablespoon of lemon juice or kalamansi or Krouch chima

5 tablespoon of expensive Kikoman soy sauce

3 cloves of garlic (crushed or sliced thinly)

1 thumb-size ginger (optional)

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

½ cup white onion


4 tablespoon of cooking oil (if you feel like rich olive oil is good)


Using your expensive Messermeister knife slice the beefsteaks about 1/2 cm thick and marinate with lemon juice, garlic, soy sauce, a little bit of oil and pepper for about 30 minutes in an expensive glass or ceramic bowl. The reason for these is that when you marinate in plastic or metal container the acid of the lemon would react to the metal or plastic making the taste of your cooking slightly different.

Again using your expensive Messermeister knife slice the onion in rings and set aside.


Now make fire with your stove and put in your Bain Marie frying pan, make it a little bit hot before you put in the oil. When it’s fairly hot add the marinated beefsteak, cover and cook slowly until done.


When the liquid is almost gone and it smells good already increase the heat for a minute or two enough to make the steaks brown.


Add the onion rings and cook for another minute. Now serve it in an expensive corning ware platter including the oil and sauce.


There you go my obtuse, uncleverness and slowness students of mine… well as for Mr. Magno he fly to Vietnam today running away in shame from me…


Happy Independence Day!!!


Before I forget special mention to Oli goodluck there miss saigon…

we miss you… sigh… Tse… double tse…