HOW TO FALL FROM GRACE GRACEFULLY

Well… well… well… there you are my friends… I know… I know… I know… you miss me…

Since last Saturday I am so very busy with my charity and social causes. I’ve been planting lotuses in the banks of Mekong river in an attempt to make the banks more colorful with pink and white lotuses… as you can see it’s always been a dream of mine to make the world more beautiful because of these lotuses; and other than that I also have a pa-liga with the motudup and tuktuk drivers, and I have to fix the hole in the roof of my maid chamber’s room. Gush… what a hedtic days… makes my head ache… sigh…

And of course because of that I treat myself to an expensive restaurant here in Phnom Penh… I have a dinner with me, myself and my conscience at “Pacharan” tapas and bodega; Pacharan caters to people like me and you, the menus were all authentic Spanish mi amore na pagkain and it’s very delisyoso… Since I’ve been divorced from my x-husband Kuky… I’m doing like these, just dine out alone but extravagantly.

My dinner is composed of House vodka tonic, one jug of sangria, another House vodka tonic, Clams marinera soup, 2 grilled chorizo, another House vodka tonic, 2 gambas al pil-pil, Baguette Aioli, Coke, another House vodka tonic, Montfleur water and Bibingka… ( huh!!! )

Well as you can see I’m quite tipsy after that wonderful dinner so I decided to have a cigarette at the terrace of Pacharan that overlooks the Tonle Sap river… On my way to the veranda, I noticed an older guy that looks like Diego Bunuel, ( “Don’t tell my mother that I’m in” National Geographic host ) Grouping my way to the portico I noticed his staring at me lustfully like as if I’m a gazelle being stalked by a lion, exactly a lion because he has a thick but well manicured beard and he’s cute despite his age.

Lighting my cigarette and exhaling the bad smoke to the very clean air of the riverside I smoke. With my third puff, I noticed that Diego stands up and also lit his cigarette at the other corner of the terrace opposite of me, like 2.13 meters away from me... And of course I suddenly felt like pa-cute and beautiful. I fret and turn and sway and smoke and anything that I thought might caught his attention then suddenly he straighten up and exhale his smoke and come… come… come… closer to me. I turn my back a little bit just enough to have a glimpse of him in the corner of my eyes… but he stop like 1.23 meter from me… and continue to smoke… Gush I felt a hot flush and I’m quite excited too… then suddenly he’s like coming again closer to me so these time I turn to face him smiling then he come to me and make a sign if he can make tak-tak his cigarette in my ashtray…

And with that I felt suddenly depressed, unloved, alone and unnoticed despite my status… I just stared at him and smiled as he went his way to the mainhall leaving me with bruised heart and red blushing high cheekbones.

Sigh… and because of these our topic for today is…

How to fall from grace gracefully…

Be open-minded… that not everything is perfect and that everything sometimes fall apart. Ang kabayo nga nadadapa ikaw pa kaya!!! ( horses falls and so are you… )

Group yourself… these is the part where you have to ask yourself why did you fall, but that’s not enough reason to blame yourself… you stupid.

Acceptance… amend yourself that next time one should be wise with every decision we chose and responsible for every actions we make though we know that sometimes there are really things that happens for no reason at all… like destiny?

Stand –up… there’s no point in staying down there and wallow with it, raise and stand –up proudly, at pagpapagin mo ang mga putik na nakakapit sa iyo.

And smile… nothing more, nothing else… smile is… yeah just smile….

And with grace I hope you follow those steps…

Well… well… well… there you go my friends and worshippers… until next time…

These is Miss Bubbles Cojuanco… telling you to stay healthy and beautiful like me…

HOW TO SING THE ALPHABETH AND MAKE YOURSELF BETTER!!!

Well… well… well… today my beautiful body is too busy… I just came back from the charity auction at christie near monivong, not christie in hongkong. A lot of work and pretending to do… as you all know there are lots of new faces in my kingdom now and I felt so threatened. Last week Miss R. Liboon has a new oven and I’m so damn freaking out when I know that all the people are going to his parties lately, and came Miss Fay who looks like singaporean, she had a new cellphone that looks mine, Gush I need to have those things…

Sometimes thats the difficult thing as a social climber its difficult to catch up with my social friends… sigh me and my beautiful, lonely skin… sigh…

Today is Friday and I’m going to attend a Gala… well… well… well… and to keep my stress away and be beautiful before the party, I teach you how to mantra and sing… these is a very kept secret of mine… these very ancient learning and song that keeps me beautiful forever and assures me that I’m beautiful… that i'm going to share with you for free and with that our topic for today is....


how to sing the alphabeth and make yourself better!!!



A --- im adorable

B --- I’m so bayotiful

C --- I look like Carmi Martin

D --- I’m a darling

And E --- I’m so exciting

And F --- I’m so fucking damn beautiful

G --- I’m a goddess

H --- I’m so heavenly

I --- I’m infectious

J --- I’m Jasmine for Aladdin

K --- I’m so kissable

L --- is the lust in your eyes

M, N, O, P, I could go on all way

Q, R, S, T, alphabetically speaking, I’m very Okay

U --- means I’m uber beautiful

V --- means I’m very sweet

W, X, Y, Z It's fun to wander through the alphabet with me, to tell you that i am me.

Well... well... well... there you go my friends... have a nice weekend... until then... when the sun and moon collides and the rainbow will make a perfect bow...

teka lang tigilan nyo ko sa mga spelling comments dyan.

HOW TO FLIRT AN OLDER GUY WHO OWNS A HELICOPTER

Well… well… well… gush me… am so full… so full of me…

last night Steve calls me for no reason at all… I met steve with the other two witches from eastwick, the other night when we paint Phnom Penh violet. I met him in Blue Chilli accidentally…
Yes accidentally… ( I don’t care what you think )

Cavorting and whoring by the red sofa with our new friend peejay. I stood up and went out to light my cigarette, puffing the beautiful smoke out of my seemingly beautiful lungs, I hear someone called my name… and when the smoke goes down I turn my back and saw an older being but quite adorable big creature named steve… I said oh Hi… who are you? And after that everything changes I feel like am on a scene in “Nights at Rodante".

Steve is a chef, he cooks well of course… and he owns a helicopter. He’s an Australian and am a Filipina what more I can say I guess its destiny… He reminds me of my other destiny Cirilo a French lightning director of course from france. ( but that’s another story I have to tell you before the year ends… promise )

Anyways… The night was still young and I’m so young and beautiful; Steve stayed with me until 3:00 am just talking about past lives and lost love… (sigh… lost love). He’ll be leaving by the end of these month I guess, but promised to be back for a couple months… he’s planning to have a restaurant here in Phnom Penh. Well goodluck to me for the promise…

And with these our topic for today is…

How to flirt an older guy who owns a helicopter

Act beyond your age… no one likes to talk to a child when you’re on a bar. You might end up behind bars.


Take notice of his interest… Nothing is more impressive than someone who is genuinely interested in learning about your passions. it's romance at its heart. So you must be bright, not necessarily intelligent but witty and sassy… like me… but for me I always notice the watch his wearing or shoes… Even the smell… hmmm… I smell money…

Be honest with him… not just with him but with anyone “honesty is always the best language.”
Tell him how you feel ‘bout the global financial meltdown or the climate change, he might support your call.

Bring out your sense of humor... Make him laugh! nothing puts you right into the center of attention like a genuinely funny joke. Remember Mother Barang in the “the funny girl “.

Ask him questions... Boost his ego, give him the attention he wants… but not all the way, try to be somewhat restraint like the bait when you taunt a fish to bite.

Flirt with him... He may like you a lot, but the age difference may make him afraid to approach you. If he knows you are interested, it breaks the ice. But then again not all the way, try to be somewhat restraint. imagine yourself as a piece of meat being taunting a lion.

Am sure if you follow these you will end up in a yatch or helicopter… sigh helicopter ( I know what you’re thinking )

Grrrrrr… meow… you’re beautiful… Enjoy!!!

( EXCUSE ME DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THE GRAMMAR )

HOW TO HOLD A MARTINI GLASS

Well… well… well… what a wonderful night I have last night, I had a very social guest and friend visiting me all the way from the kingdom of Siem Reap. As you know I’m based now here in the beautiful kingdom of Phnom Penh in wonderful Cambodia. He visited me for the mere fact that my new blog is super --- mega--- chartbuster --- over the top hit… of course he’s also on his way for the fashion week in the Philippines.

Anyways… despite the fact that paparazzi’s are scrambling to have a photo of me I went to the grocery with my thick Armani sunglasses to ward off the flashing bulbs… ( Gush its really difficult going around with my status ) At the grocery I quickly paid all my stuff in the counter as an old but rich looking man ask for my autograph, and with that I went home to cook a very special dinner with fuchsiaboy… but because he is a vegan, I cooked for him my very special “Escabechar calamar de pemiente negra” or adobong pusit, “pescado cocer al vapor” or steamed fish and “prêt de legumbre” or stir-fried legumes.

The dinner was very beautiful as we gobbled and attacked the food down with “ Yumberry juice” yeah… yumberry juice! ( all social gay knows about it and if you don’t know about it you’re not sosyal ) but of course down with the main course, we talked about health and charities. Fuschiaboy is way down slimmer and more beautiful than ever before, I think his the most fabulous gay I’ve ever known after me… as for my charity program for the motodup driver ( equivalent to trycicle driver in the Philippines ) well… it goes well and those poor little fellows can’t have enough of me… sigh… we ended the dinner with a bouquetlicious wine…

Costume change and were off to “Blue Chilli” a very sosyal gay place if youré in Phnom Penh.
Its very important to be seen… in Blue chilli I’m the queen… everyone from the bartender to the motodups and tuktuk drivers down to the callboys they know me as the “Queen” because the owner is my bestfriend. “Oak” she’s also a queen from another kingdom.

With three martini’s for three beautiful and look rich ladies, they sat in the red sofa with pouted lips and heady eyes. Then the other friend Deborah Rose ask me as she looks at me holding my martini glass…. Hey, miss bubbles can you teach me how to hold a martini glass…

And with that the topic for today is

How to hold a martini glass like a pro…

Bear in mind that martinis are meant to be drink cold. Everything is designed to keep it that way, from chilling the shaker, the liquor and the glass to the shape of the glass itself.

Our beautiful hands generate heat so keep those hand away from the glass.

Holding the glass constantly will warm the drink making it maligamgam, so to avoid that hold the drink by its stem at the very bottom of the bowl with your pinky upwards. ( Yeah like that what you’re doing now )

Enjoy.

By the way in the party as a social creature try to be gracious and prim, don’t gobble those canapés… Hmmpp… chura mo!!!

TO COMMENT OR NOT TO COMMENT

Well… well… well… who’s there…

Again I’m so very proud and excited about the fabioulous ( don’t ask me the spelling again ) remarks and rave reviews of my just opened blog… (hmmm… don’t make fuss about my grammar. I’m beautiful… ) A lot of my social friends of mine commented that my blog is beautiful, insiteful, daring and out of these world. Some say two-thumbs up… other’s raise their eyebrows and others just drop their plates and glasses when they saw my blogspot…( Hay its really lonely when your on top… that’s why I love being bottom much more closer to the earth…) And some of them give advices about blogging as you know I’m just quite new and very virginal in these so cold sphere in our lives…

So our topic for today is about blogging.

HOW TO BLOG!!!

THINK… think of what your blog is about. May it be about fashion like my friend fuschiaboy… think about love… just like my other friend I don’t need to mention him… Think abot anything else as long it makes you happy… think about yourself… blogging is about yourself and your selfish self… as for me because I’m a social climber, I write about social life, the difficulties and struggle of a social climber and most of all about social climbing.

MAKE IT SHORT… Blah… blah… blah… a very social friend of mine said my blog is quite beautiful but long… whatever… I tried to make it short.

FABIOLOUS… as in… make your blog interesting, beautiful and wonderful like me… thank you.

PICTURES… if your blog is very visual you need to have a lot of eye-candy and eye-catching visuals too to make it shine above the rest. Like my picture above isn’t it fabiolous… ( again don’t ask me about the spelling)

NAME DROPPINGS… well because my blog is about social and sociality itself I need to name drop even if they don’t know me… well… huh!!!

SOCIALIZE… well these is the most interesting part… I noticed that the more you comment to other bloggers even if your just a chu-chu… you become popular… but I don’t need that… am already popular and I don’t need to knock on other bloggers just to be knock… yah know… anyway… they socialize with me. And they always come for me…

Well… well… well… there you go my friends… until next time… enjoy blogging…

sigh me and my lonely, beautiful skin.

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

WELL… WELL… WELL… ITS TIME…

Today I wake up needing to make a blog… this is too much you know… as a social climber I need to have a blog, all my social friends had a blog… that is why I had to blog.

I really don’t know what to say… ang hirap mag – ingles… at ang hirap mag compose nang grammar… 85 lang ang percentage ko nang speech and grammar sa English… but I will try… as in try… to the bones… but I will not pretend to write unlike someone I know who is very pathetically trying hard… ( huh!!! it’s not him if you know what I mean ).

PARTY!!!

Yeah, birthdays and parties… if you are a social climber you should know better than looking at the dates and numbers in the Mayan calendar which we all know is going to end by 2012… God knows!!! You should look at the calendar for events and parties you need to make, attend or need to socialize. But for me, for some reason I always make a party even without a reason.

Here are the tips for having a glamorous and very social casual party for a social climber…

1. Plan ahead… this is very important because you’ll never know who would come to your party. It might be your long time crush or Delfin na taga kabilang barrio much worse yung kumare mo na matagal mo nang di binayaran nang utang… Well anyway… for me in planning ahead… I started collecting used bottles of Evian “sosyal water” from my boss, whenever we had a big meeting I always ask the maid to keep all the empty bottles. ( I’m working in Advertising agency you know ) anyway when I collected enough of the social water bottle. I clean them up very carefully keeping in mind not to erase the labels and fill them up with just plain mineral water and put in the fridge. BWALA… you have now a very social drinking water for your party… well of course you can also have options, para dun sa mga walang access na tinatawag nating sosyal na tubig… ( wala naman talagang pinag-iba sa ordinaryong tubig ). Ganito yun… bumili na lang kayo nang mineral water at individually put ribbons before you tuck it in the fridge. Take note you also help the environment.

The menu… well, well, the menu… well of course the menu… that depends actually on your budget. But because I am a social climber but also cook good food. I do it creatively. First on the list is salad…. Of course social friends don’t eat a lot, so a salad is very good opening meal for everyone… you can actually make some from simple arragula to pechay ( pwera na lang alugbati ) or whatever eatable leaves ( its important to have Olive oil from italy all the time )… then Soup, but I don’t really recommend soup as it tends to be messy pag-kinulang ka nang bowl, I only have soup if my party is really formal and limited engagement only, but of course dahil social climber aketch I recommend the ready mix soup just add egg, social herbs and leaves and create an out of these world name for it. Example: Baja chupe de pollo poblano ( very sosyal ) in short tinolang manok… Then comes the main course… well here you can choose from seafood to meat or whatever… and still name everything in a very grand name. Then comes the fillers… for me its “lumpiang gulay” or “spring roll in the spring”. As for the drinks I recommend fruit punch as its cheap and have the same result of feeling drunk. My choice is the old schooler’s favorite “Gin Pomelo”.

2. The guest… ask a few friends who’s free and can help you with the preparations and it is also nice to have someone to boss around the kitchen but be careful baka mapagkamalan ka nang mayordoma. As for the guest list be careful for whom you invite and whether these people will get along with each other. But for me, I don’t care as long as they are rich and beautiful… and its also nice to have some tension in the scene… you know…

3. The dining wares… decide if you go for plastic or ceramic… but I recommend the real thing as it is environmentally healthy to the environment. Its always been handy to have chopsticks or extra glass and plates just incase some of your PG friends come.

4. In or Out… decide where to throw your party is it best inside the bedroom, the living room, on the veranda or in the garden?… Garden is nice for grilling and things… whatever for me anywhere is okay… as long as the embience is nice.( don’t ask me bout the spelling )

5. Mood and music… Well of course, these is the part where you brag about your second hand stereo with your second hand ipod and lot of pirated cds… and don’t forget about the Christmas lights and scented candles… Ask your guest what music they want to hear and keep your best dance music too… but as for me … videoke is the winner, if you don’t have magic sing borrow it a week ago from your friend.

6. The host… The most important thing is how you will make your friends feel in your home. You are the most important person on this party as the host or hostess. It's up to you to make this party nice and pleasant or just ok. You may decide in advance what conversation to start with your friends to warm up the atmosphere and make everybody feel comfortable. But most of all be sure to look nice, fresh and beautiful… so I recommend to put on your best smell be it “angel’s breath” or “forest interlude”… as for me I use dolce and gabbana…

Oh… before I forget be sure no neighbors would be bother with your social climbing party as you might get a “baine marie” knife in your throat the moment you step out of your house the next day… I recommend to invite them or just give them tira-tira after the party.

Well… well… well… there you are my dear friends… until next time for more topics and social climbing tips… Enjoy your party…