Monday, January 19, 2009

BACK FROM REHAB


"The thing about happiness is that it doesn't help you to grow; only unhappiness does that. So I'm grateful that my bed of roses was made up equally of blossoms and thorns…

From my great-auntie Miss Lana Turner

Well… well… well… how are you my beautiful expectators, pupils and students. Now that the holidays are over and so out to the past na… AM BACK… FROM REHAB…

I know everyone missed me… I miss you too… My apologies for going away without telling you all my beautiful pupils… and that would never happen again, I promised... hihihihi…

I end the year far away from the chaotic but happy world of partyness and celebrations of the past month. I had a party last December 20 and I never thought that it would be so big. It was supposed to be a small gathering in the rooftop of my beautiful villa but it turns out so very big. I invited like 20 people but the guest just keep on coming that my rooftop tried to accommodate almost to a hundred party animals, 102 people to be exact. I’m so happy I felt all the love in the world… but feeling is relative, that night was very good and happy, but still I felt alone like whitney in the bodyguard…

Then come December 25 and I judged the Mr. Blue Chilli event. The full account is in the Queer Cambodia blogspot. Then after that I came to see my doctor about my nervous breakdown and my gaut. The doctor adviced me to rest and while away for a while.

Then came New Years Eve… and the weather is cold which make my depression so unbearable that I finished four bottles of chardonnay alone on the terrace with “Adele” singing “chasing pavements… ( Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere… hmmmm… hmmm… ) I decided to stay at home on New years eve… sort of respect and tribute to my long dead beautiful sister which by the way is the same age of me when she died… Strangely, it rained hard during that night, a very long, hard and refreshing rain… it started at seven o’clock in the evening and finished around three A.M. ( secretly I smile… rain in new years eve is a sign of abundance and goodluck, which i’m looking forward to… )

The first week of January for me is very uncertain, sort of lost in space... I just stayed at home most of the time and veered away from my friends, Bars and restaurant owners called to me asking where the hell am i… Amigas and friends wondered why I didn’t go to the ribbon cutting ceremony at Toul Kork Highschool… In short I just wanna be alone…

Then come the second week… I went to Siem Reap to take a break… I been to Angkor Wat a couple of times but these trip is different, I came to see The Magestic Angkor Wat during the night… its very fantastic, beautiful and expensive… yes expensive its like entrance to the light show for Angkor Wat is 120 dollars and the dinner is like 30 dollars.
I’m estatic despite the fact that I spent 150 dollars in an hour… Anyway that trip to Siem Reap make me bounce back to my feet again… and these time I’m kicking hot and damn fat…

I don’t know why I always dreaded the holidays, it gives me cramps and headache… It must be because during holiday season everyone are with they’re families and love-ones,
Or it must be because of that traumatic break-up with my former bestfriend, Or it must be the fact that my sister died on New Years Eve… Or it must be because of that loneliness of waiting for someone… That someone who promised to be with you no matter what…

In the end I’m allergic with Christmas and New year celebration… Its traumatic…

But honestly I missed my life as Miss Bubbles Cojuangco… she always had fun...

But now am back… yes am back…

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